Alone

There she is - my best friend.

I wonder sometimes, if some people are just meant to be alone. By "some" of course, I mean me.

Goodness knows, I've had my share of relationships and until about a year ago I still held out hope of finding another one - the "perfect" lasting relationship. When I discarded that hope, I felt exhilarated. True freedom = losing all expectations.

I've been married twice and both times I felt more alone for the majority of those married years than I do now.

I've been madly, passionately in love. I've liked. I've loved.

I wouldn't trade my life now for anything. I have never been so at peace - so contented - so happy. I admit that when I have been in a relationship and it was in those early "good"stages, nothing could top the feeling. But it was always a roller coaster ride: the highs had their parallel lows.

I am content to simply be happy. To wake up each day with joy and anticipation of the wonders it will bring. I make my own happiness. I choose who to be with and what to do to bring happiness and joy into my life.

I don't know how you do that in relationships. Novelists and Hollywood have sold us on the idea of "happily ever afters." Do they exist? I don't know. Not in my experience, which doesn't for one minute mean it isn't possible.

But I love my life as it is. I embrace it wholeheartedly. It could just be that by a combination of nature and nurture, I was destined to live my best life on my own. And I'm happy to acknowledge and celebrate that.