Goody Enough

On my hike this morning through Yellow Point Park - in the rain and in the sun - I mused about the Law of Attraction, or, as I like to think of it, Thoughts Become Things (think good ones).

This is one law I believe in as solidly as I do the law of gravity - it exists whether we believe in it or not. I can see quite clearly how everything in my life is a result of my thoughts. And where do my thoughts come from? They are a result of my beliefs, most of which I accumulated when I was very young, certainly too young to consciously choose my beliefs. Naturally, as I grew older, I became more conscious but I have had to do some pretty serious work to unearth beliefs that weren't working for me.

At this point in my life, I want to be very clear about my thoughts and my beliefs - I want to be very clear about what I want because, sure as shootin', I'm going to get what I think about. I have accumulated an awful lot of beliefs about relationships that do not serve me. To whit - I've been single for ten years, during which time I have had two miserably failed love affairs, neither of which nurtured me. To list all the beliefs I have about relationships here would take a very long time and far more soul searching than I want to do. Besides, I don't think it's necessary. What I tell myself now is that I am happy and I don't need a relationship. At the same time, I work at changing my mind about that in a very intellectual sort of way. I am concerned that I don't desperately want a relationship. I think I "should" want one. Somehow or other I want to want one - I want to get some emotion into this want - some oomph!

I was thinking about this on my walk and the thought occurred to me that perhaps the mere fact that I worry about not wanting a relationship badly enough is, in itself, enough wanting. Maybe, just maybe, that's all the proof the universe needs that I'm ready.

Goody enough?

Maybe so. In fact, I think so because as this thought developed, I smiled rather broadly as I walked - I had the same sort of "aha!" feeling that I had earlier this year down in Big Sur when I understood the reason I was single: I was (quite rightly) avoiding the perpetuation of my relationship history. The thought that put a big smile on my face on that occasion went something like this: "I want a relationship unlike any I have ever had before! I want to experience something brand new! I want a relationship that is mutually loving and joyful and full of respect and fun and - well - all good things, including passion."

So there you go, universe - over to you.

What else do I want? I've pretty well put it out there that I never want to worry about money so I know that I will always have enough to live comfortably. But I am also a tad addicted to budgeting. So it's time to up the ante. I want more - I want affluence. No - not billions - but a million or more - yup, I can handle that. Once again, over to you, universe. Do your thing!

Health? That goes without question. That's one I'm so sure of I don't even need to think about it. I'll probably be climbing Everest on my 101st birthday.

Enough wishes? Nah. We're allowed infinite wishes. After all, we made the rules of the game and we're way to smart to place limits on ourselves. But that will do just for now.

Did I mention that I've never been happier in my life? I am so open to everything that's coming my way.