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Sunday, November 28, 2010

hiking today - and other thoughts


Hiking with my friend, Julie, and her dog Ocean (and, of course) Abby, is always an intense pleasure. So the three or four hours we spent today exploring all the trails on the Extension Ridges was a pure delight. And because the ridges aren't strenuous we talked and talked and talked. Sometimes I am afraid I talk too much. And I guess I will have to let that one go.

The man did not come. He changed his mind at the eleventh hour. He called after he had already packed his car to drive to the ferry. "I'm not coming," he said. At first, I thought he was joking. When I realized that he was perfectly serious, I found myself feeling quite disappointed.

Then the really good stuff happened. He told me why he changed his mind - fear - of many things. Here I am, two ferry rides away and he has already done the long distance relationship thing and been badly hurt - and hurt another as well. Did he want another experience like that? Of course not.

I've had those hurting experiences too. And so we opened up to each other and became deeply vulnerable. We'd had some fun communication up to that point, but this time we got deep and real and rather then ending our budding relationship, we took what we have so far to some real depth and quality. I am so glad the man changed his mind. We needed to have that conversation before spending a weekend together. We needed to arrive at that depth of trust - and that is only the beginning of the depth we are capable of attaining. We both know that.

We will meet.

And when we do, it will be good.

2 comments:

  1. sending good thoughts your way ... I feel for him over his fear of long distance. I once felt that way after Ralph and I broke up because long distance was too hard.
    And then I met farther away Alvaro and we took a leap of faith and soon we will have been married for four years.
    Sometimes the leap ends in flying...

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  2. thanks, Lynn - he is now planning on Dec. 9 - this time I suspect he will show up :)

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